Essence: We come back to our selves. The challenge or demands of the project or relationship become clear. We realize we are still individuals. Our own needs and sense of self forces us to emerge from absorption in the relationship’s cocoon and grow.
The Gevurah (five) of Cups refers to a time of emotional contraction. Having given ourselves away, we now take ourselves back. Suddenly we find ourselves in the opposite position from our Binah, longing for togetherness. Now our desire is to contract and assert our separateness. We no longer want to be absorbed in another and look instead at our differences. It may be that the very thing we loved in the other shows its annoying side. The free spirit we married seems irresponsible. That responsible and prudent person is suddenly seen as uptight and overly controlled or controlling.
Where in the Hesed of Cups we said, “I love you completely; take all of me; I want to satisfy your every need,” we now say, “Prove you love me; I also have needs; give me some space.”
In the Gevurah of Cups we experience the karma of having been taken for granted, or of ourself taking the beloved for granted. Stereotypical and habitual ways of seeing and relating to each other becomes a source of growing discomfort. We no longer see one another as we are, but feel confined in our beloved’s stagnant vision. Unless we recognize each other’s continually evolving selves, we risk the relationship exploding in our faces.
The Gevurah of Cups looks like a rocket or firecracker, and so it is. If used well, this explosive energy can light up the dark sky of illusion and by its light reveal new areas for communication, growth and awareness.
This is a time of struggle between polarities. Because we have contracted to take back ourselves, we are now suddenly offered the opportunity to see each other more clearly.
When the Gevurah of Cups is reversed, it may point to a time when the truth of who the individuals in the relationship really are, is revealed. In the light, all we have kept secret or hidden shows itself. This may be too difficult for the relationship to bear.
An extreme example might be that our mate who had been easily jealous and controlling suddenly turns scary or abusive. An overly solicitous mate suddenly reveals that they never loved us, or has found someone new and are now leaving. Or, we discover our partner has a hidden and therefore unrecognized addiction.
At any rate, the reversed Gevurah of Cups can indicate a severe lack of communication. This may either spell the end of the relationship or a huge opportunity for growth and healing. When the masks come off, we can learn to really love.