Essence: Signifying the back of the head, an ape or monkey,Quf begins our return to Wholeness. If we cry out to the Holy One from our dark brokenness, The Holy One then cries out for us. When we face our shadow we can know and heal our darkness and become whole. Rider-Waite Tarot: The Moon
100 ק QUF, BACK OF THE HEAD, APE OR MONKEY, MOON
Quf is the number one hundred. It signifies the back of the head and may also signify a monkey or ape or our primitive undeveloped self. Just as the moon can only reflect the sun but not initiate its own light. As the number one hundred, Qufmaintains multiple relationships with both the Infinite one Aleph, and the ifinitely small Yod, ten. It is also symbolic of the moon since the visible moon is always in transition from undeveloped to fullness and back again.
The head gains its ability for expression from the face, as Quf, more than any other letter, draws its meaning from the letters around it. Alone, it is a blank, and can not be whole. Thus, Quf as in Kadosh becomes Wholeness, Holiness.
Where the number Aleph, 1, is symbolic of the beginning of expansion into the multiplicity of the macrocosm, and the Yod, 10, expresses an inward, microcosmic journey, Quf, 100, is the beginning of the journey back to the whole holiness of the One. By embracing and integrating our shadow, we begin our journey to wholeness.
Ayin, 70, our eyes reflect the Holy I and lets us know when and how we can come into awareness, without illusion to see clearly. Tzaddi, 90, is the fishhook by which we fill our vessel with mindfulness so we may share ourselves. Quf, 100, is what we seek and why we come to earth. We learn in Quf to separate the stories, tricks and illusions we tell ourselves from the Truth of our Holy connection.
When Quf is joined with Dalet, it becomes separate or set apart in a specific way. If we wish to discern that which is holy from the profane, mind and heart must separate. We learn to distinguish what comes from our heart rather than our mind, and thus make mind serve the heart.
At the darkest hour when we feel abandoned, cut off, in fear and trembling, Quf is the cry for reunification. Only when lost may we be found. Only when we fall, can we be lifted. At a time when there is nothing left but a fragile hope, nothing we can do but pray, Quf is the prayer of the all that is primitive and undeveloped in us calling out from our depths to the Great and Holy. When we who are small, paltry and weak cry out in longing for reunion, our tears open the gates of Heaven. Then, Quf is the Holy One sheltering and reaching down in longing for us to acknowledge, welcome, and receive. Mutual longing unites reciprocal energies so that the small and Great, the high and lowly may come together.
Quf is the unexplored territory that draws us. As the back of the head, it is symbolic of the grave or tomb, wherein we have shut up what was too frightening or self-disintegrating to face. It is our shadow, that which we own but do not want to acknowledge. Quf is the invitation to know the secret sin with our hopeful prayer for assurance: that even crying out from the grave, our voice is heard. It is the promise of the rainbow. Our brokenness allows us to be made whole, Holy. Quf, reassures us that the Holy One is in the still small voice that prays with us as we pray and that makes the whole world Holy. It is the voice of the heart that draws loved ones together. Our existence itself is the result of the divine union of opposites. In this way Quf also encompasses the idea of balance.
Quf shares some meanings with the Rider-Waite Tarot card, The Moon. For it can be the Shekinah, Feminine Face of God’s dark visage, the dark moon, fear in the night, the severe and bitter Tree of Death and the ancient coldness, crying out that we have cut off our own light—Her own light.
When the Quf is reversed in a reading, it is because we are in danger of cutting ourselves off from the truth of who we are.
The reversal recommends we ask the difficult questions we’ve avoided facing:
“What am I trying to hide?” “What am I hiding from?” “What am I ignoring?” “How am I cut off?”
”What is in danger of destruction?”
“What do I need to face up to?”
The whole of creation, the good and bad, superior, and
inferior, dark and light, pure and impure, are one. To ignore or attempt to cut off any aspect is to deny Holiness and, ultimately, to self-destruct.
With Quf reversed, we need to receive and accept the mirror that presents our own dark face: our severity, our mercilessness, our own tree of death, where we close our ears to Truth. In our dark misery, we learn that even with our wealth of gifts we are helpless.
Feeling lost we call out to the Holy One, who loves, and invites us to love, even our imperfection. Even as we call out to God, God calls out to us. Oneness cannot be without us. Together we are lover and beloved.